Update from Derailleurs friend, Franny:

Hello friends,
On my way back from the GonKiRin roadtrip to Detroit I stopped in Nashville on my way to Austin to visit with Holli and Diane. I arrived late and Hollis was asleep so Diane and I had the chance to catch up. The last time I saw them was when Hollis was at St. Lukes Hospital in San Francisco before I moved to Mexico in July 2009. Wow times flies and Hollis has progressed tremendously!!! She suddenly woke up and was eager to see who was there. I walked down the stairs and she was smiling. She thanked me for coming to visit her all the way from California. She was amused by my 100-pound rottweiler and wanted to see her up close. Osa Perez jumped on her bed and licked her face multiple times as Hollis giggled. She laughed and said "You've got a big pooch but she's a big baby!" She asked me if I was going to spend the night. I said "Yes, we are going to have a slumber party!" She told me to get on her bed thus I did. I told her that everyone misses her and loves her and she said "It's not the same without me is it?" I agreed. Later that night I was sleeping in her room that she grew up in and I noticed the glow in the dark message that she wrote on the ceiling as a child. It said "The stars don't shine when your eyes are closed!" It really touched me because I could hear her saying it as I read it. The next morning we watched TV together and I played with her beautiful dark brown long hair. I gave her my silver Guatemalan jade ring that I made in Chiapas and she thanked me. She was amused by looking at the bling on her finger. Holli was talking a lot and listened intently absorbing every word I said sometimes repeating my sentences taking it all in. She even had a conversation with my pops on the phone. She made his day and he told her she's a tough cookie. Harry called and sung her Blackbird by the Beatles. She recognized the song and said it was beautiful. She became real giddy speaking with him like a school girl in love. Hollis enjoys watching Disney movies and listening to her mom read to her. She still has her sass and doesn't always like it when the nurses put her in the shower. I encourage all of you to stop by and visit her whenever you are near Nashville. She loves the company of her friends!!! Diane has renovated the entire downstairs for Hollis including the shower room. She receives Botox every few months to help with the flexibility of her muscles. Holli told me that she loves her mom and that she's her main inspiration. Diane is very happy to have Hollis around. It's been really rough since Doug passed. Heather and her two girls will be moving in soon. I am pleased to know that the Hawthornes are together once again.
Love and kisses,
Franny

An Idea

I would really love to manifest an internet tablet type product for Hollis. One she could mount on her bed and her chair.
She could watch videos, read, write, draw, and maybe even set up email or phone calling action.
Hollis is at a place in her recovery that more friends and more creativity would be great for her.

Dear Universe, if there is any way we can make this happen, that would be winning!
I wrote to Google about this, but I can see how it would be hard to get a foot in the door with the size of their company. Anyone have a good contact for one of these tablet producing companies?
We could make a special heartwarming community outreach story and team up with an awesome techie to create interface that is special to Hollis and her brainstem injury.

Hollis' Birthday Conversation

I just got off the phone calling Hollis on her birthday.

A few other Derailleurs were in the room on speaker phone her in SF.

She was at home with her mother getting ready for a party of family at her house later.

"It would be lovely if you came over for my birthday!"

She was her usual hostess self and offered the prospects of cake and ice cream for everyone.

She thanked me for calling and thinking of her on her birthday.

We talked about the Derailleurs show and she was ever so eager to get back to dancing.

She wants us to come over so she can learn the new moves and catch up.

She mentioned a couple times how we could dance all night.

Then as our conversation came to an end, I asked her for a story.

This is what I got from it:

"Once there was this little girl and all she wanted to do was dance.

And there was a fairy with wings who wanted to dance but couldn't use her legs.

They all came to my party and we danced all night."

Her annunciation has improved remarkably and being at home seems to be a great experience.

This home is where she grew up, and she is connecting with those moments.

Hooray!

Hollis is coming Home

Hollis has been cleared for take-off.

Many of you have been hoping for this moment:
Hollis was cleared for setting up shop at her childhood home as soon as January 15th.

She will me moving back in with her mother, Diane, just in time to keep her company through this hard time. Heather, Hollis' sister, is also making plans to join their mother in the old haunts.

The house has been under construction to accommodate Holli and her chair and mobility needs. If you have the means to donate, please send a little help through the paypal to cover some of these untimely costs.

Keep the Hawthorne/Allison family in your heart and here's to another year of discovery and triumph.

Doug will be remembered.

It is with a sad heart that I announce Hollis' Stepfather and Diane's true love, Doug Allison, has passed away. He was a kind soul who will be missed, especially by all his kitties.
If you would like to send your condolences to Diane, her address is:

Diane Alison
600 Sue Dr
Antioch, TN
37013

Chili and Cornbread

I wish I could have spent more time in Nashville. Though my visit was short, it was very sweet. I am going to lay this out somewhat like a report. I took some scattered notes in my journal that I will attempt to put together in a flowing manner. First, a brief history of me and Hollis.
We are very dear friends. Pre India, we were hanging out on a near to daily basis for quite some time. We are both members of the Bay Area Derailleurs bikedance team, as well as the PSOP-( Permanent Sleep Over Posse.) I know her well. I was there the night we were informed by Harrison about the accident which was immediately after it happened. He called Eliza to find out Hollis's blood type. It was a terrifying night. I was also there at the airport when she arrived back in the US from India. Went to visit her in the hospital in San Francisco while she was there. I mention this because I have seen many stages of her recovery and that is part of why this visit was so special to me. The last time I saw Hollis before this week was over a year ago in September when she was taken back home to Nashville to be near her family. Before I go any further, I would like you to know that her mother, Diane, is one of the most solid, loving mothers I have ever met. Diane has literally been at Hollis's side since the very beginning of this unfortunate accident. From India, to Stanford, to San Francisco, to the care center in Nashville. Thank you, Diane. You are unspeakably loyal and amazing. Okay, that's enough history, lets get on with the update.
I arrived in Nashville on the 13th of December with a mutual friend, Layna. It was evening. We showed up at Madison Health Care and Rehabilitation feeling very nervous. Will she remember us we thought to ourselves. Of course your mind goes wild in stressful situations with "what if" scenarios. We go inside and head for Hollis's room. Lucky for us, she remembers us! ( I actually knew this already because I had called Diane a couple nights before to let her know we were coming and she put Hollis on the phone for a second. Hollis said to me, "Jamie Bond, you are a very remarkable person." It brought a tear to my eye.) It was nice to have the visual reassurance. We got settled in and did some talking. Yes! Talking to my friend who wasn't talking for a long time. She is very articulate and using complete sentences. We would say something like, "Do you like ice cream, Hollis?" She would respond with, " Yes, I like ice cream very much!" I was so happy to see the dinner tray come in. I didn't realize that she was eating solids on a regular basis. She still has feeding tubes- one for the stomach and one for the small intestine. This is to make sure that she gets proper nutrition while her body adapts to taking in solids again. As it turns out, she was not very interested in dinner, which I will discuss later. She goes to bed early so we were only there for a couple hours. Took off for the night to go meet up with a new friend and get settled in for the night. Layna started crocheting a hat for Hollis. It was a lovely deep red color. The next morning we got up early and were back to hang out for the whole day! Hollis's sister Heather was supposed to be hanging with her today, but when she got there and found Layna and I, she left us to have some friend time alone. Hollis was in a wonderful mood. We did a lot of joking and laughing. She is hilarious! It almost seems as if she is her old self and a little kid at the same time. She was constantly saying, " I love you very much!," " Do you love me?","You are so funny", "I love my Mom." Despite being articulate, there was a serious range of vocal pitch influction. She would start out speaking in a normal tone, but as she got excited her pitch would get significantly higher while speaking faster and a bit more mumbly. She is still working on getting full control of her mouth. Eating was a bit of a mess but she is eating and that is what matters. We would have to remind her to chew and sometimes food would come plopping back out of the mouth, which made her giggle. And she would continue to say, " Thank you for feeding me." It was spoon feeding which also reminded us of a childlike essence. Chili and cornbread was very appetizing to her for lunch that day. Ice cream for dessert. At one point in the meal Hollis burst out with an exclamation to Layna, "Thank you for stuffing my face!!" We all giggled and Layna continued to stuff chili, cornbread, and carrots into her face until it was almost gone. Now it was time for an adventure. Layna finished the warm hat just in time because we were going outside! Warm was necessary because some sort of "Arctic Blast" moved in from the North, all down the Midwest and into the South. It was a mere 18degrees the night before. A light blanket of snow everywhere. We got Hollis moved into her chair and bundled her up in sweaters and blankets. She said she hadn't been outside in a long time. First we checked out the courtyard, which ended up being not very exciting, (plus it had no smoking signs and Layna and I wanted some tobacco!) We decided to go straight out the front door, down the driveway, and across the street to look at the park. It was a bumpy walk and I did my best to keep it smooth. We were out for about ten minutes and Hollis decided that it was too cold so we went back on inside. I was sort of surprised that none of the staff stopped us from taking Hollis out, but then again, we weren't doing anything wrong. We got back in and turned on some music. I tell you what, Hollis has way better memory than I do when it comes to remembering song lyrics. She knew almost every word to every song that we played. We had a lot of fun listening to an entire Bob Marley album. The song "I shot the sheriff" was cracking her up to no end. Eventually, we decided to check out those limbs and do a little body work. We noticed that Hollis's right leg was significantly colder than her left leg. The only thing we could figure was poor circulation due to inactivity. Layna did some power blast Reiki action on Hollis's head while I worked on the right foot, ankle, and leg. This went on for about an hour during which Hollis fell asleep. When we finished the pampering treatment, Hollis woke up and said, " I feel like a human being again." We got serious with her for a minute and did some mobility work. She is still not using her right side and needs to work on making it work. At one point she said something like, "I can't move my leg." This was not what we wanted to hear. The "can't" attitude will get you nowhere. We got her to focus really hard and squeeze Layna's hand with her right hand. Then we said told her to move her right leg. It was very difficult, but that leg started moving when she focused on it. She has virtually no muscle left in there after being in a bed for the past two years so she needs to rebuild it and then it will be easier to move. Physical therapy is necessary. Diane and Heather have been doing their own versions of exercise with Hollis but I personally believe that she needs some serious grueling professional assistance in this department on an intensive daily basis. She needs to be reminded to focus and think about reconnecting the neuropathways that enable mobility and everything else. It may not be fun but it is what will make a dramatic improvement with her recovery. Diane said that they are waiting for Medicare/Medicaid to kick in within a few months when they will re-attempt to get Hollis re-accepted into Shepards Center, a specialty brain injury recovery center in Atlanta, GA. It was really nice to know that Hollis is at least somewhat aware of her condition and the work that needs to be done. She repeatedly told us that she wants to go home. Lucky for her, Diane's house is almost remodeled to accommodate and Hollis will be going home by the 15th of January at the latest. Hopefully sooner. I believe that this move will create a drastic improvement in her recovery. For the past 15 months she has been in a nursing home. Literally. Madison Healthcare and Rehabilitation is full of some really weird energy that she is no doubt soaking up. She is by far the youngest person there. I will post some thoughts on the US medical system in an additional blog post that I would like everyone to read and think about. In summary, it will be about how much it sucks that our current medical system keeps people away from the specialized treatment that they need in crucial time periods of recovery. Overall, I think Hollis is has made significant progress and she wouldn't be where she is today without the love and care she has received from her family and friends. As we were saying goodbye, she said to us, " Forgive me if I am absent minded." We told her that it's all good and keep on being the strong, beautiful woman that she is. My suggestion to you is to go visit her, call her, send stories and pictures, send music, send love. She really liked being told how much we love her and how beautiful she is. The beauty in that is that it is nothing but true. True friends are with you through the good times and the bad and that is something you can always count on. We are blessed to have such an amazing community. We are even more blessed to have Hollis here with us and getting closer to a full recovery every day. It takes a village so don't be afraid to get re-involved. She will thank you for it.

Pure KT's visit to Tennesee

so I went down to Nashville Tennesse and had some visits with our dear Ms. Hollis. Let me tell you that girl is Taaaalking! ye-haw! I walked into her room and couldn't stop smiling. Diane asked Hollis, "Do you know who that is?" and quick a wink Hollis said, "That's KT, Hello KT!" and I kissed her face. Hollis is doing well, all things considered. She was laughing and making fibro mialga jokes. She was able to stay pretty focused during our visits, but also tired and had to rest from time to time. We sang some of the Little Mermaid "Look at this stuff, isn't it neat, wouldn't you think my collections complete!"

And so the girl is still in there, as we've known all along, fighting and working hard to reclaim what's her's. Hollis enuciates each syallable and has a full blown Nashville accent, the kind she gets after having a few ;) very cute.
Diane says her strongest memories are from her childhood, but she remembers her more recent past too, Dancing, the Derailleurs, DPW, San Francisco, etc. Her short term memory isn't great, recent visits were hazy for her it seemed. She asks Diane for help sometimes when she's having trouble saying something, she says "Can you feel me?" Yes, Hollis, we can feel you.

On my next visit, Diane said Hollis was grumpy. It was strangely a relief to hear, the grawly side, Grewahhh. We watched The Little Mermaid, and I braided her hair. When I came in the next day she asked me to braid her hair again, so she is remembering things day to day. I worked on her right arm for awhile. She said she couldn't feel it. Although Hollis has great control over her left arm, she can't feel her right hardly at all. We need to encourage those neural paths to connect again!

The last visit I re-read some letters that had been written to her, and we looked at the BRC street signs that were signed last summer. She remembered everyone, and kept saying, "oh, I didn't know! wow!" When I left Hollis made a point of telling me how important our visit was, so keep contacting Mz. H, she misses us.

Besides visiting Hollis I was in Nashville to look at colleges. I'm going to spend a semester of school in Tennessee in Jan. and plan on spending time with Hollis. So lets get a list of exercises, games, activities to do with Hollis to forwards the Haul-ass recovery.

--
KT

My first Tennessee visit.

Here I am, day 1 of a four day adventure in Tennessee to visit Hollis.
In the car ride on the way over, Hollis called to tell us how excited she was for the visit. Five minutes later we pulled into the nursing home and she was there in the window. I made a childish face at her and raced inside. I jumped in her arms gave her a big hug. She gave me her best one armed hug and then told me to give her a kiss. We kissed and she said we had to do it again so we can get a picture of it. How refreshing to have my first words with her be bossing me around!!
She handed me a note she wrote to me that was penned by Karen, her stepmother, signed by Hollis with her left hand. It said, "Thank you for being my friend. I love you!"




We quickly left the bustling activity center for the privacy of her room. Hollis was speaking the whole time. She would say things and then asked if I could understand her. If I didn't then I would tell her to repeat it and she would without frustration. She told me to sit in her chair with her. She asked me to massage her shoulders and feet."oh that so nice." She told me she couldn't feel anything, then I pinched her and she looked at me so I told her I caught her in a fib. She talked about her speech therapy and various health problems, some imagined. She kept saying that she is blind in one eye. Then we would do some experiments when we would cover each eye and ask her how many fingers. When she repeated herself the fourth time, I interrupted and told her that she had said that four times already and that it wasn't true. She apologized and didn't bring it up again. Near the end of the visit, she did say that it is hard for her to focus, but that is more of a problem with needing glasses.

She has this joke about fibro mialsia that kept cracking us up the whole time.
The joke was along the lines of, "One time at band camp, I got sick. It was from Fibro Mialsia."
Heather, her sister was like,"Did you smoke this fibro mialsia?"
"Yeah!"
"I think that was Marijuana, maryjane, reefer...."
"hahahah yeah!"
And then from then on, sometimes when she couldn't think of a word, she would say she has fibro mialsia and laugh and crack up. Then it started to turn into spinalbi-fasia, etc.

We spent the day cuddling and reading a few letters from folks. I am introducing a new letter or present every few hours so she doesn't get overwhelmed. Which she wasn't. The last few weeks she has been stressed and depressed, so Diane warned me to not expect anything, but Hollis was back to her joyful, joking self. Her original southern accent, the one that comes out when she's drunk, was more apparent. Her southern hospitality was amazing. She kept asking me if I understood her, that she was just trying to explain where she's coming from. She was so polite and very thankful for all the gifts I would pull out. She has this phrase, "Oh, I had no idea" and "Oh thank you, that's so nice," which is very southern sounding. And very pleasant.

I brought a piece of bacon from breakfast for her to lick or something. I saw this glimmer in her eye when I first pulled out the bacon. It was like heaven had answered her prayers. She totally ate a very small fatty bit. Her slightly studdering thought patterns showed a transformation in her thought. At first she was saying she has an eating disability. That she can't eat food; that it will give her pain. Then I reminded her that her body wants real food instead of the vitamin tube and that it would be hard to reintroduce food but it will eventually happen. I notified her of the real pain it will be to get over a year of feeding tubes. Then she said that she can eat, but just not too much. Then she asked for more bacon. We gave her some yogurt instead and told her that the more she eats and the more she swallows, the more food she can have like that. Later on in the evening, I was telling her about Homemade Hustle and how Babs and Nikole's descriptions of their food are super poetic. She kept asking me to tell her what kind of food they were making. She was very interested in it all and would exclaim "Oh that's nice."

I showed her the picture of pregnant Linda and she was so excited. "Oh I had no idea she was pregnant! I wish she would have told me." She was very delighted to get updates from people. We are setting up an email account for her so she can reach out and send messages to people. She proclaimed that no one writes anymore. She would really love little updates on people. She doesn't want to hear how people are sorry for her position. She wants the dirt. The trials and tribulations. She conveyed that she knows that her big skill in life is communicating with folks and its lonely when she doesn't know what's going on. She also informed me that she has a Skype account as of this month and can Skype with anyone whenever. So if you are Skype-able, drop her a line. More info on how to later.

We decided to call Shannon because we were reminiscing about singing a song in the livingroom and tapdancing and we couldn't remember the words. Hollis remembered the melody and sang it to me. When we got her on the line, Shannon sang it to us and we all sang along and laughed. When Hollis talks on the phone, it's hard to hear her, but if you tell her to speak up or repeat things, she will no problem. It's more important for her that we understand what she is saying than the ego hit of us not being able to make out some of the mumbling. Hollis asked Shannon where she was and how she was doing. Hollis wanted to hold the phone and she was, but since she talks too quiet, sometimes her hand would go over the speaker and it would become hard to hear her. She doesn't talk that long, but she gets this amused look on her face when people are talking about what they are doing. After we got off the phone with Shannon, we called DA. She was asking him how he was doing and very interested in the goings-on at the Burningman office. She got this far away look in her eye, conjuring up this half fantasy-half reality land of fire and dust and hard work and people with weird names, like Fibro Mialsia.

She didn't want DA to stop talking about his life. She wanted a thousand word picture. When they did have to part ways, she thanked him for not being a prick. And we laughed and laughed....

I showed her my new Booty Dance skills. She got the biggest grin. She was the one who had been teaching me about the amazing booty shaking skills so many years ago, and now I could finally do it, as well as Jamie Bond. She was very surprised. And proud. I told her about the "Mogli" technique (sticking butt in air on hands and feet) and she said she hadn't heard of that and then asked if we had The Jungle Book dvd to watch so she could know what I was referencing. She is a sponge. She is a thirsty sponge.

While we were reading some comic books donated by Last Gasp, she interrupted me to tell me that some of her dreams had been in French. She reminded us that she had taken a semester in school of French but only knew a few things. I said the few things I know, including the "Voulez vous couche avec moi, c'est soi" (uh keep in mind I have no idea how to spell that) and she sang along and laughed. Then we counted in Fench and she kept going after my 1-10 knowledge. She couldn't pull out anything until I reminded her of how it is pronounced, then she sounded quite elegant. "Oh I had no idea you speak French," she said to me. I told her I speak Spanish and that my knowledge of that helps me understand. Then we went into some Spanish and she asked me how to say to the left and to the right and kept asking until she got the right pronunciation.

I am super excited about how this is all going down and I will continue to share it with you all. More tommorrow. Hopefully I can make more sense of my words. Please understand that I am trying to get this out so that i don't forget anything. I understand it is not the best prose.

Less Than 24 Hour Warning

You have less than 24 hours to get your note or cd to Hollis through me.
I am leaving in the morning.
Call me or email me.
We have a messenger coming to pick up sf area notes.
Burn that CD now.
That is all.
eliza AT friendsofhollis dot com

Nice Article on Hollis' Recovery

http://coilhouse.net/2010/03/all-for-the-love-of-hollis-hawthorne/comment-page-1/#comment-27512

Happy Cries

Thanks to the overwhelming support to Hollis and Diane.
I have been happy crying for days now.

Thinking about a year ago is a trip. Five cities were already having fundraisers and the word was spreading across the globe. This has been, and will coninue to be, an epic journey. The greater human network of compassion has been exposed for all to see. So many wellwishers who are also strangers! We all showed the world that right at the onset of "recession" we raised $100,000 in three weeks through compassion and hard work. Together. With Hollis in mind.
Now we raise our glasses to her, and jump in the air, with unfiltered enthusiasm.

She has made it out of the dark and begins the new growth period. Spring is in the air.
New buds. New bees. New hours of sunlight to shine its golden magic upon us.

Hollis is rocking it. And that makes us stronger because we put our hopes and intentions in the soil for her to use the nutrients to blossom. She probably would have anyway, the bull-headed woman she is. It makes us feel good to lend a helping hand (or a hundred dollars).

Let us keep fixing the soil, so she can plunge her roots deep into the ground from where they were cut. Let's provide her with muses, guidance, and patience.
She needs music.
She needs videos.
She wants to read your letters.
Send her your smile you have now.
I am still not sure if she is aware of how much she has affected us all.
Let her know so she can weild that power for future battles.


I am going to Tennessee for a visit at the end of the month, so if you would like to send something with me, email ELIZA(at)FRIENDSOFHOLLIS(dot)COM

The best news of my entire life.

I am sitting here in a chair in Nashville in complete shock and amazement. Today is the one year anniversary of Diane's arrival in India. Wednesday was the one year anniversary of the accident. I just returned from Hollis' rehabilitation center where upon leaving I shed tears of joy.

HOLLIS IS NOT AT ALL IN A COMA ANYMORE!!!

Yes! You read that correctly! Scream, shout, jump up and down! Have a shot! Dance! Kiss somebody! It's the real deal, seen it with mine own two eyes! She is awake and talking and present and brilliant and amazing!

I just had a four hour long conversation with her. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. I started off by saying how good it was to see her... to which she replied how glad she was that I came. Blown to pieces, my mind is blown. I hugged Diane and said "It's like a miracle." and as I said it, I realized that it wasn't like one... it is one. I can't explain the feeling and honestly I'm still processing it but to be able to talk to our beloved Hollis again is a gift. She is free from what she describes as a scary, sad dream. She said there was a big red monster and flames chasing her. She is out of there now and I can't help but think it's got to have a lot to do with how many people were rooting for her. Don't get me wrong, Hollis is one of the strongest most powerful women I have ever met and did it fully bullheadedly on her own, but the magic that we muster as a group, getting her the best treatment she could get and all her visitors in SF and healers who worked on her... well it all just hit paydirt.

We started out just sort of mutually stammering for the words, me having not seen her in over 5 months and seeing her in her new consciousness; and her whole life having been completely turned upside down since we last spoke. It was a little overwhelming. Then we got around to covering it all... the accident, India, all of our friends, pre-india, the derailleurs, travels, her rehab, the benefit shows and so much more.

Now she's not perfect. She's been in bed for a friggin year and she suffered severe head trauma and is just getting back into the swing of things. She has a lot of amnesia about lots of things, which she describes as fuzzy. She is also crystal clear about other things and generally really positive, speaking mostly about about beauty and fun. Also describing most things she's unpleased with (like rehab) as boring as opposed to harsher adjectives. Her speech is a little hurried and mumbly so I have to ask her to repeat herself a lot. She has a long way to go still and is just beginning a long journey on her path to recovery. She is, however, just as cute and sassy as ever. We were crackin each other up and it is so good to hear her laugh and see her smile. Contrarily it got really intense at times like when I told her that I saw the accident and when she then thanked me for saving her life. We were both welling up a little bit but it's all such a happy occasion it couldn't last and instead she asked me for a hug. I bent down and she wrapped her arm around me and squeezed me.

Diane is beaming, she was there when I got there along with Hollis' sister Heather and her girls (who she's had trouble remembering... but hopefully it will all slowly start coming back). People change a lot when they go through these kinds of injuries and you never know what changes will last when all is healed. She can move her left arm and leg just fine (it was the leg she was kicking with through her coma!) but it's gonna take a lot of work to unlock her right arm and regain movement in her right leg. The day after tomorrow Diane is having an important meeting about getting her into the best intensive rehab program in the area in Atlanta.

So what now? Well all I can say is, if you love Hollis like I do, come runnin. Plan a trip out here to Nashville, stay with my friend Brodie or ask me for all the other options that are around of which there are many and come see her! Send her photos, videos, books, songs, movies, art whatever you think she'd like. If you have any money, of course rehabilitation is going to be so intensely expensive and take a long time and Hollis and Diane have a long way to go. Tuck a few dollars as a celebratory donation here or on the helpholligethealed.blogspot.com Also, call me, kiss me through the phone, lets smile together and I'll answer all your questions.

415-987-6576 THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!!!!! This is what I got right now, more to come. Best day ever.

Singing in the new year...

Hollis has been singing more and more songs from her ipod.
Singing is a good way to develope the vocal chords for speaking because the notes are already pre-determined and it helps familiarize her with making sounds.
It's just a matter of time...

I just spoke to Hollis!

Breaking News: Hollis said my name for the first time since the accident.
Hollah!
After hearing the good news from Diane, I decided to call Hollis with The Derailleurs at practice.
Diane put Hollis on the phone and she said, "Hi Eliza."
I told her about how the Derailleurs were going on tour and how we missed her dearly.
Then we passed around the phone and each expressed our love. She wasn't very talkative, but she did say "yes" to Janel's question on whether she wanted us to send our movie trailer to her.
We ended the conversation singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" together. Diane told us tht she was mouthing the words near the end.
Oh boy is this ever a happy day.

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, HOLLIS!

Rachael Fisher Visited Hollis over the Break

but that part turned out to be quite easy. hollis is bustin' full of love. spent most of the afternoon and evening pawing at my face and tugging on my dreads like a newborn kitten, and smiling, smiling. it was super easy to make her laugh and light up. moving her left leg a whole lot (she kept hooking it around my neck and slamming me into the bed with like this judo move, it was very funny) and the other one a tiny bit. when she got real agitated she folded the right one up which i hadn't thought she could do.

that was the scary part-- we were alone most of the time and for a little while she obviously became very emotional and upset. she was clutching hard at my face and hands and hair with a terrible twisted expression like she was absolutely terrified or totally enraged-- probably both-- and kicking like crazy, and trying to speak to me a few times, but it was only one syllable and i couldn't make anything out. i just let her hang onto me. wasn't sure what else to do. i guess it's a good sign that she tries to communicate... it's just frightening, the intensity of emotion that seems to drive her to it.

that seemed to tire her out, and she chilled out and cheered up again, and we goofed off with grover some more, and i hung out until she went to sleep for the night. i gave her your message and everyone else's and gave her a kiss for every person who misses her in the bay area (well, that would be almost impossible, but a good effort was made). it was very sad to leave her. she seems so lonesome for her friends.
her eyes got really big and quiet and kind of searched my face whenever i said eliza's name.

The Hun visited Hollis and here's what she says:

Okay, so Hollis isn't quite up to saying "hello" out loud: her talking phase only lasted a few days. But damn if she didn't laugh her ass off today! She looks great, and is progressing by leaps and bounds here in Tennessee. Kevin and Not-It made bad jokes at that girl until she laughed out loud--the first time she'd laughed aloud since her injury. We kept her laughing for hours with the help of kazoos, stories and DPW news.

Plus, today marked the first time she got completely vertical, with lots of help from the badass physical therapists here. Her right side is starting to move a little, and she's working hard to hold her head up. She can now answer yes/no questions by lifting her left arm for a yes answer. There is absolutely no doubt about it: Hollis is in there, and she's fighting hard to get her muscles back under control. The therapists say her background as a dancer is making a big difference.

Lots of work still to do, but the improvement since I saw her 5 months ago is absolutely astounding. We'll be dancing in the desert again in no time. We all left with a lot of joy and hope about her progress.

So anyway, Hollis is spending a lot of time listening to music these days. Her ipod is hooked up, and Diane puts it on random. You know what that means: SEND MUSIC! Anybody with good tunes that you think Hollis will like, make a little mix and send it down to Diane Allison, 600 Sue Dr., Antioch TN 37013. You can send presents, letters, donations, art and sock puppets there too... but music, comedy and audiobooks will really do the trick right now.

xo
Hun

WSMV TV news clip about Hollis

http://www.wsmv.com/video/20831362/index.html

Hollis is in Nashville now:

If you would like to visit her:
431 Larkin Springs Rd.
Madison Healthcare & Rehabilitation Center
Room 30.

Many people on the playa sent their best wishes to Hollis as she flew over our heads and the man burned. I will miss her, but am happy that she is finally in a stable place to start stage 3 of her recovery.

I love you Hollis, my wifey, and inspiration.
Thank you for introducing me to so many people when I was a young duckling in the bay area.
You were hiding in my shadow the whole time I traced the dusty earth of the playa.
Your personality unfolded ten times in each direction of the stinging wind.
It is no surprise that the burner community was the glue that held you together.
Everyone is at their best, most giving, and able to receive out there.
You have always been such a provider and collaborator. No wonder.
The playa crews are some of the most inspired and motivated givers I have met.
And you knew those are the people I need to be around.
You have no idea how many souls you have connected me with post-accident.
It has jumpstarted my creativity, a dark sludgy muck this year.
I hope you read this soon.
Thank you, Darling, and get to work.
We would like to see you out and about like a buzzing bee ruffling the petals of newly formed flowers.

Potential Departure Date: Sept. 5th

Talked to Diane today.
Tomorrow Hollis will get her Tracheotomy removed.
They will monitor her for 5 days.
Plans to leave are being confirmed for the 5th.
So soon.

I am leaving for Burning Man.
Through what has been facilitated through this website, I have been thanked for my efforts with a free ticket. I will go into the alkaline desert and give my cares to the wind, polishing my soul in the sandy sun. She would want me to go and it is her fault I am going in the first place. She was the one who introduced me to all those wacky kids with orange and red targets on their backs. DPWers have been my welcoming comittee to the bay area and now I get to see their homeland. OH boy.

I had this guilty fantasy of filming this one long shot of Hollis in her chair going down the hall to the elevator. There is a constant shoulder to shoulder smile from each of her friends on the way out.
Out the elevator there is the same two blockades of smiling people until she and Diane gets into the Ariport Transport.
Oh well, I will just have to imagine it.
Homecoming is a comforting thing.

The countdown is beginning..

The world turned a little and things are sorting themselves out.
This post is disjointed. Hopefully you get the idea of what I am saying.

Diane's Husband, Doug, will be here on saturday to celebrate his and her birthdays this weekend. **(Diane's birthday is Sept. 1st, so start shopping for that special something)** She is as wide eyed to see him as a done up teenager in front of the mirror for prom, waiting for the doorbell. It has been so long since their reality of "together." This should be a great weekend of comfort for Diane.
Then, as an earth shattering relief to Diane, a facility in Tennessee gave word yesterday that they have been accepted.

The timeline is not exact, but it will be approximately 2 weeks until their take-off.
The doctoral team will take out the traech tube and wait to see how happy she is for 5 days. Then she is off on phase three of this great journey.

So this weekend I get to fulfill my desire that has been postponed all year.
The desire to continue on our permanent sleepover posse formed by Hollis, Jamie Bond, and I in 2007. I already promised not to give Hollis any alcohol. Haha. I never would anyway , but it is a proper precaution. The other day I went and got a fresh coconut from the new stand on mission and 24th. Hollis was practically chugging this primordial liquid. She was able to tell us she wanted more by lifting her left hand. Communication progress!

For the first time this year, I will be able to take that place on the cot this weekend, letting Diane clock out for some well needed relaxation. For the next few weeks I can get closer to Hollis before she takes flight to the East. I am looking forward to it, but also am sad to see her leave, off into the great unknown. I know that we have all been putting in good work and
hopefully her next step is rapid and powerful.

When I walked into the room and was greeted with this information, Hollis was so happy. She was smiling big and bright. She is going home, moving from the St. Luke's view of ticky tacky houses on the hillside, to a new adventure. I told her to memorize this view, because it is about to change.

Thanks to our true and constant ally, change.

I snuck a peek..

Went in to see Hollis on Wednesday and she was pretty chill. Seemed to be thinking about something.
Then I saw a note on the bed in place of Diane. It was from Harrison with some good news.
Said he was talking silly stuff and got her to smile ear to ear.
While I did not see it myself, it was written in Harrison's writing, dated just a few moments before I arrived.

Thought you should know this visual.

Yin Yangin' it.

It's HAPPENING!!!

I will try to recount this tale as accurately as possible. I may mix up the order, but the details are what's important.

As you may have heard, Hollis spoke the words, "I love you, Mom." two days ago.
Everywhere I went people were telling me they heard the great news and started crying.
I was so amazed at how many people in my immediate day had connections to Hollis. I was also blown away by the quickness that spread by word of telephone. Mine was shut off, and within hours I was getting facebook messages and people in the streets already knew. Wow!?!

I had to see what all the commotion was about.

I go into the room and it is very bare. All the decorations have been sent home for her transition. But spirits are high and Karen and Diane are catching up.
I'll just get straight to the point.
I get up in her face, show her some photos J.Crush had brought, of us performing at the Roller Derby halftime. I described each scene and what part of the dance we were doing. Sometimes I would count it out the way we do at practice so she would know exactly where in the song the picture was taken. I showed her some of the new Derailleurs. I told her to notice how synchronized we were. The pictures were amazing! She took them in with intent curiosity.






























I told her about my life and my woes and what's going on in my life.
Then I got up in her face and went over circular breathing, through the nose and out the mouth. I told her about how the first breath fills the chest, the second down to the diaphragm, and the third one under the belly button. I lead her in some breathing exercises, telling her the benefits of increasing the lung capacity and expelling stored grief (Chinese med.). I told her to bring it to her crown and down into her toes. Down the leg that doesn't move especially. Her right knee twitched with awareness, her toes wiggled just a little. Not even imagining it. I told her I felt it and she did it again.
Then I asked her for a high five and her tense ol' right arm started moving, slowly, in abeyance! In place of the left one. Awesome.
I then proceeded to put pressure on her arm to bring it down to neutral. I let her know the muscles she was tensing and I asked her if it pinched and she said, "Yeah." then "I'm getting better." Yes. She said that! (omg) Diane's eyes bugged out of her head!

Then we got her arm down and I told her to relax it. She was moving her fingers and wrists. A few times of being interrupted with medicine, she tensed up again and I told her that she should relax her arm again. The second time she did it with barely any resistance.
I snuggled up on the bed and put her hands on my stomach to feel me inhale and see how it felt when I breathed into my stomach. Then I put her hands on her belly and showed her where to breathe. I felt her middle wiggle and the muscles contract. She was getting it. I told her about how good it feels to push oxygen into the dark corners of her body, makes it tingle, and she said, "uh huh." Diane and I had our heads right within ear range because shortly she was muttering very differently sounding things all in a row under her breath. We would exchange glances to see if each other got that, but we both mirrored each other. Ok, keep her on the line.
She quieted and Diane went to catch the last call for hospital food. I was talking to her, trying to tell her stuff she might respond to, curled up in her arms on the bed.
She started talking a bunch. Whole sentences. Couldn't get much. Diane came back. Bless her heart, moms can understand the language of their own, before anyone can decipher it. She spends so much time with her, they are intertwined.
I heard, "I don't know..." and her Diane so helpfully asked her, "Did you just say you don't know what happened?"
I then asked her if she remembers going to India and that she had a motorcycle accident. She repeated the word, "Motorcycle." I asked her if she remembers being afraid of the motorcycle before she went. She said, "Yeah."
Diane told her that she had been sleeping for 5 months. Shortly after she began to cry.
This was a new cry. A cry of congniscience and awareness of her situation. It was a deep, meaningful, relief cry. A "Tear-through-the-paper" cry. She was aware of the situation and she was letting the sad parts release into the atmosphere in a cold rip of reality. After she released, I told her about how in Craniosacral therapy, one of the ten signs of release is crying, called a somato-emotional response. I asked her if she remembered me telling her this when I came home from my weekend retreats, learning the stuff. She said, "Yeah." I told her about how that means she is getting better and things will be getting easier. To change the subject, I asked her if she might consider choreographing a marionette dance, relaying and releasing the feelings she had with the wires and tubes connected to her. She said, "yeah." Then I asked her what the first food she would eat will be. Ice cream, salad, coconut milk..." She started crying! I think she is so ready for some coconut water! (Fresh styles.) We let her expell the sadness of not being able to eat. Then assured her that there is so many good things to look forward to. We let her know that whenever she felt sadness, no matter who is in the room, she should let go of it. She started hackin up some mucous, and I told her that this was another one of the ten signs and that she is making more room in her lungs for happiness and expelling grief. She stared saying a few more things that we couldn't catch.
At this point it gets hazy because I am lost in space-time because of a dream I had and wrote about previosly. Time passes and I ask her politely to repeat what she said. Sometimes she would, sometimes she was on to something else.
She brought up the word "dream" in one of her sentences.
You know my ears perked up to that one. I told her that she has not only been communicating with me in dreams, but also more people than just me. She was into the subject. She repeated it again. I can't even imagine what she has been dreaming.

That reminds me:
If I you have had a dream with Hollis in it: WRITE IT UP!
I want her to have a log as well as I think it is a valuable medicine for her.
As well as a study of parapsychology.

Ok. It's late, I am missing out on some details.
I will fill in more when I remember them. I just thought you would want to know.
Thank you for caring and contiually showing your support for this woman who knows she has power deep inside and when she doesn't have any, she has us.

Bring it on home...

Hey everybody it's Harrison. So I know a lot of people have been asking me to write something and my silence may seem inappropriate to some. But now it is time for action so I can not stutter anymore. I've never been an internet person. No myspace or facebook, shudder at twitter and made fun of bloggers. Well boy was I dead wrong and seeing the value that the internet has had, in manifesting actual care and love, was astounding. I have tried to think of what to write just about every day... it plagues me. It drove me to a bad place for a while, well there were a lot of things that drove me there. As to be expected due to the reality of the situation upon our return. The whole time I was trying to stay strong for Hollis I was also crumbling and terribly sick with parasites I brought back. I lost 20 pounds and started generally being wretchedly unhealthy to myself all around. If a part of Hollis may have died, that remains to be seen. But I definitely felt partially dead. At the last minute I went to Venice with the 'Swimming Cities of Serenissima' boat project... there I found life again. I learned to genuinely smile and have fun, things I literally never thought I would do in full again. I have a list of thanks to those who went above and beyond to get us back and dive into Hollis's care and recovery ... and then to revive me. Soon, I want to actually write out and post on this blog and send letters and hugs and art and new found smiles to all who helped and pushed with all their might. The biggest thanks of all goes to Diane. There aren't many people in the world like Diane. I did learn a new found strength that I didn't know I possessed. None of that strength holds a candle to the strength that Diane has shown. That said it is time to get Diane home. There can not be two casualties from this one accident. I myself know that I nearly dodged a bullet and pulled myself out with the amazing help of my loved ones and it is time to show Diane, our loved one, that our hands are far reaching. Let's carry our wounded bird and her mother home to Nashville, Tennessee. What do we need to do to make this happen? All the momentum that was there when we were in India and just getting back is still pulsing in remission and I hope this call out gets passed around on the Facebooks and email lists etc. this is not a call to close this chapter of our lives and move on, we are with Hollis in person and our thoughts and hearts but Diane deserves the shattered remains of her life and love back. It's like a bomb was dropped on her life and it is time to rebuild and get her back to her husband who misses her immensely. This is all so intense and fucked up and the news isn't good and the light at the end of the tunnel is dim. I understand everyone wants updates but the truth is is that she has plateaued in a terrible place with some small steps forward and other steps back. Tragedy is a fact of life. What we have to do now is make the best of it. The best situation is for our beloved friend who is a tragic abbreviated version of herself to go back into her mothers arms and life adjusts. So let's make this happen as quickly and painlessly as possible. The doctors say the tracheotomy could be taken out if needed. We need to get doctors onboard and write and call Nashville politicians and agencies. We need to get her on TennCare and we need to find a caretaking facility that isn't going to let her choke to death on her own vomit. The money is there but we know that this is a long haul we are looking at. I told Diane that when the money runs out we will make more but the step by step of exactly how to get her home and where she will go and who will care for her are things that we need all of our hands on. Now. Start making phone calls, writing e-mails and researching. Producing the magical contacts that poured in when we were trying to get back to the states. St. Lukes has been amazing but Diane can not live in that hospital room anymore. We will see Hollis... she is in the center of the country and Diane has assured me that anyone can go visit her. I am personally trying to save a lot of my energy for when she is doing better and entering a more outward step of her healing, as opposed to the more internal healing that she needs to do right now. I am by no means leaving her side for any of it. I can not begin to explain to you what it is like for me to see a person that I love so much in the state she is in. I'm there, I'm visiting, but it hurts far more than is sustainable and healthy to spend as much time as I thought I would. My update is simple... I'm okay now, Hollis isn't, neither is Diane and we need to get them home. The thought of Hollis going back to Tennessee away from her friends and community that she has built for herself as an artist, lover and a fighter, was once too painful to even mention. Then my second day in Italy, during some deep crying screaming fit therapy with some of my dearest friends on this planet, I realized that she has to go home and it's okay. It doesn't mean I did a bad job, we did the best we could possibly do but her mother needs to start to live again. Sorry for the harsh tone of this post but it reflect the harshness and the reality of the situation.
Love you guys. -Harrison

Sassy

The three Derailleurs show up to Hollis' room and she's calmer than usual.
Her neck is straighter, not drooping down, but the first semblance of upright I have seen yet.
We say hello and start showing her other bike dance teams' videos on YouTube. She watches them all, very intent. We talk about moves that have been recycled and the politics of making up dances in a new genre of movement.
Hollis remembered the high five as soon as I got up on her bed. It was great. Then I showed her some of my drawings in a sketchbook. I showed her some of the drawings we had made together when we lived at the Willow street house. I busted out a pink highlighter and put it in her right hand. This is the hand that is curled to her body. She had no problem holding it. She wouldn't look at the page though. I tried waving my fingers to draw her down to it, but it seemed like she was hesitant. We moved the pen along the blank paper, my hand guiding hers. She would move her hand ever so slightly, decimeters at a time. I decided to try the left hand. The one that has had it's fingers extended for a week now. The day before we were working on "grabbing" and I asked her if she remembered that lesson yesterday. The back of her hand is very sensitive. Whenever I touch that area, her hand jumps. It takes a minute to show her the mechanics of wrapping her fingers around the pen. She holds it for a minute and we draw. The left side has larger movements. She moved the pen around in centimeters on this side. We didn't play for very long because she wouldn't look at the paper. She seemed to get tired when it got hard. I think she was also hesitant because of the amount of people in the room, staring hopefully at the page, expecting a miracle. She dozed off purposefully and we started gathering our things. She had been very quiet the whole visit. When she would utter sounds, her voice sounded hoarse. I guess earlier that day she had been pretty talkative.
Her mother said that while she was getting her nurse attention that morning, her right leg started to kick about. This was perhaps the first time this had happened since they were giving her ritalin. This is a sign of her bi-lateral symmetry working itself out. Yay!

We said goodbye, and I stuck my head in her face and gave her a huge smile. It's a genuine smile because I see her brainy icecaps melting. Coming out of an ice age. I see she is more and more herself and her old sassy attitude was apparent in the scowl she was matching with my grin. We stared at each other, our yin-yang expressions, in a facial battle. After a moment, I copied the look she was giving me, being her mirror. She instantly shut her eyes.
"Oh BUSTED!" I say. "Girl, I am just being your mirror and it looks like you don't like the way you are staring at me. Can't handle the taste of your own medicine, eh?"
I told her that they haven't outlawed smiling yet, and that is something she should work on. "I want to see a smile on our face next time I visit. And I want you to start saying 'wifey'. I am not going to give up, babe." I had a feeling she was feigning tired when we all came into the room, and the slamming shut of her eyes when she saw something she didn't like solidified it. I called her out on it. That sassy girl knows more than she lets on.
I have been spending quite a bit of time with her this week because she might be leaving us soon to go back home to Nashville. Her mother deserves to be in her husband's arms again, resume her life after this tragedy, reconnect with her strong southern support network.

I feel like I have a lot of work to do with her before she leaves. I have some guilt for not being there every week, sometimes not coming for a few weeks. I have to keep doing exercises and activities so I can see for myself what a little involvement will yield. It looks like the high fives have stuck. Now on to singing, dancing, and drawing. Ron Turner, one of the thousands of amazing beneficiaries and also the sponsor of sending her stuff to Nashville, related to me the tale of his friend with a brain injury. He said that while they have a hard time talking, singing is easier. The tones are set and in the subconscious and easier to release than pure expression. It's a maze in there and whatever you can coax out will help show the exit. It reminds me of the first few weeks after she awoke that I was singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow and she was matching my tones, awkwardly mumbling, finding the notes. In those chaotic times, my singing to her seemed to speak to her more clearly than my sentences.
I wonder about the perfect song.

Hollis and High-5's

Yesterday I went in to say hello to Hollis and we worked on high fives for a while.
It's slow reaction, but she does raise her left hand for the magic of the palm slap. One time she really gave it her all with some force.
This is a great sign and one that can hopefully turn into communication. She understands what I say and responds. We still don't have the "yes" "no" communications, but this is a good step.

After the high5's I gave her a dancing lesson on proper body mechanics. We held both hands wide and danced a bit to some music. I introduced her two hands to themselves and told her about bi-lateral symmetry and advised her to work on her right hands range of motion.
It was truly fun.
I am on my way to the hospital right now with some Derailleurs for a drawing experiment.